I Can Still See It In Your Eyes

In the past three years of my life, many things have happened, like the time when i first went to college, it was exciting and yet, it was scary at the time, just as we know, new people, new places

On contrary to that, It was not that hard, it was easy as high-school, the only difference is that college was perfectly challenging and deeply pressured. Months had passed, years, and unexpectedly, i have remembered someone, a girl who is of great value to me, i have remembered her because she was the reason I enrolled at the Polytechnic University of the Philippines.

Looking back three years ago, I was in love with a woman, she is the fantasy of my high-schooldays , to summarize what just happened at the moment, it was my first year at high-school, I have set my eyes on her and assuming, I have a crush on her. Now you past-forward 2 years after that time, it was at my Junior Senior Promenade, I have never expected that i will have the chance to dance with her, (di ko na siya crush nung time na yun). And as things move forward, we became friends, and that's where our road started, a road that leads us to something that is unconditionally,

and yes, we become close enough to be called lovers, two hearts that doesn't define the meaning of the word "end".

we had our time together, dating, movie tripping, and even the simplest yet the sweetest things that anyone could envy, but of course, relationships doesn't always had those so called "happy times". The hardest time we had that I can remember was the time when she and I had this temporary break-up. Being immature, I am a hot-tempered man, i usually get angry suddenly and thus, I am not giving her enough space to decide on what's right for us. On the opposite end, She was very silent though she's very sweet.

Two poles at their opposite interact with each other, but we are people aren't we?, we are not magnets, we have feelings and scary things, things that we do not have absolute control. In other words, it didn't work for us. At the end, anger, jealousy, self pity put our relationship down the drain.

Now, I never had the chance to open up a topic with the time i had with her. We had our separate paths in which she and I have decided to take on with another lover. right after our break up, all of our classmates pitied our relationship, and as time goes on, we have become more bitter and bitter.

I regret the day we've part our ways, because we both gave more than just a lifetime and I still hope to undo such things, not to love her and not to be with her again, but to be the friend that she always had.

March 23, 2011, I was happy because my new girlfriend and I were celebrating our tenth month together. And here I am, addicted to social networking, i have opened up my facebook account and goes right to messages. Sometimes the less you expected, are the things that will rake you straight in the eyes.

I have received a message saying:

"OMG. What is thez??? HAHAHA"


the message was from her, telling me something I do not have a clue about, it was funny at the time. well, we had exchanged message for a while, talking about our lives, our family, and finally opened up something to her, it was the thought that i have long prayed to God.

"yun nga yun...heheheh..and by the way tnx.....tnx dhil isa ka sa mga taong nging mlaking part ng pagkatao ko...hihih.. tnx karla may!"

that was my message for her.

talking about maturity, I am happy that we have talked about our incapabilities way back then and how we learned from experience with each other. we've also reminisced about issues of bitterness, irreplaceable deeds, partner look-alike, and it was hilarious, in this conversation we had, I have said to myself that you do not have to imagine life, you must go and experience it.

She have advised me that i should not be the hot-headed prick i was back then, she said that I must be patient to my girlfriend because we are far from each other (my present girlfriend lives on Laguna, while I'm here at Manila). This was her exact words:

HER : "Haha. Nagbago na koooo. Haha. Charrr. Ibang iba. Sobra (ako na). Haha.
Wag ka ng mainitin ulo. Haha. Nakakatakot kaya. Nabasa ko ung blogs dati ni Ryoko (hahahahaha)."

ME : "hehehe...nga eh..ntataranta nga c ryoko pag nagagalit ako..weh?..follow mo xa..pinakilala kita dun eeh.....kaw na..kaw na nagbago...hahahaha..huwag ng tahimik ah..mhirap magestima ng solusyon eh..hihihih... anu?gantu tlga?..payuhan?...hahahahahaha"

HER: "Hahahahaha. Trio tagapayo (kahit dalawa lang). Uu, kahit minsan ganun pa rin. Haha. Pero di na pinapaabot ng bukas. Lalo na kayo, minsan lang yata kayo magkita. Haha."

I was so happy, though it had never worked for us, God had made the way to give us our happy ending. The different paths we have taken leads us back to the road we had first chosen, and that is the part where we had become friends, and as friends again, there's no more break-ups.

I will always thank her for being a part of my life that i have right now.

part two?, I don't think so, we are both madly and crazy in love with our partners,
and though forever has end for us, I'm sure, He can still see it in your eyes. =)

Godbless K.M.C

Come Fly With Me

It was summer, my very lonely summer, it is the time that my Girlfriend and I had decided to go on separate ways. It’s not that easy for me to move on easily, but as time goes on I realize and had said to myself that it isn’t fair to care for someone too much, so I decided to take care of few things, things that of more important than my feelings.

But then, before my eyes, someone had really captured my heart, though she was chubby, a little childish, but still, I hate to admit it, I was really amazed. And she had become my best friend.

Me as a guy, I never had the chance to feel and experience true and fruitful friendship. But, when I first set eyes on her, and literally beginning to know her more. I can now say to myself, that a true best friend is the one who truly understand you, it is a person that just by looking at her eyes, you will feel contentment, comfort and satisfaction, It is a person whom you love so much, and you don’t wanna lose. Friendship really is a magic, it can turn your innermost desire to a love that’s last a lifetime. And it can even change how love moves, how love grows. But truly, something that’s more worth than anything.

These all happen when she came to visit my church, I don’t wanna lose the opportunity to introduce her to my God, we finally get the chance to bond with each other, after all those days that we are apart. And it came to the scenario when I started asking about her life and all, her love life, and all of a sudden, she opens something to me, a story not to be told but to respect.

Many things had happened between us but still in return, I never realize how much she means to me, but not until she told me her experiences, I didn’t know that she went all through that, I had never felt disrespect or anything, she is still and always be beautiful, perfect and I am so blessed to have her. This encounter really changes our story.

I have seen her tears, felt it, and even hold it in my own hands and now I understand what love truly means, I was so sad at that time though I don’t want her to see it, I just want her to know how much I feel for her and how much this unexpected friendship leads me now… I don’t wanna lose her. Not now.

Dahil ang Buhay ay Sadyang Maikli Lamang

A real friendship is a rare thing, mixed with excitements, troubles, and sometimes defeat and losses, and most of all, it I a thing in which you will learn how to break rules and understand what it is like to be a man in your own world.

It’s 4 am, just finished making a movie, the program I have used is movie maker, I am not that skilled in this type of program so it’s expected to have simple slides, very simple transitions, hallowed effects, but has a very good sound mixing, it’s my profession though. The movie I had finished is about my high school band, The feared ARMADA

Actually, my band consist of 6 members namely; Kate Rose and chuck – vocalist; Aldo – lead; Janzen – Rhythm Guitar; Jerome – Bassist; and me as their drummer. Way back in the summer of 2006, on the fourth of May to be exact, that was our first jamming, we played a hell lot of latest music in that year and most are Pinoy rock and alternative. I was a “totoy” back then; I really don’t like long hair so as my fellow “emo” band mates with long bangs. What can you expect, post – hardcore fashion was a boom at that time. But unlike Chuck, my vocalist, he prefers long hair than emo hair, but we get along just fine.
If I can remember, the first line up of our songs was this:

DOOBI DOO
AMBISYOSO
MARTYR NIEBERA
SAMA – SAMA
SA MGA BARKADA (greatly influenced by Alamid)
SALAMAT
PEKSMAN (on our very own version)

And later on, with My chemical romance, Silverstein, bless the fall, and then switched back to timeless alternatives like Evanescence, Paparoach, Creed, and finally resides to innovative compositions like SUNOG, API, and some real Pinoy Rock like NOSI BA LASI, ANAK and such. And we did some guestings, GIGS, etc.

The hardest part of being a band, is to stay being a band, after all the hardships you went through, still, you can’t escape the reality that all of us had an obligation in real life. You can’t escape the reality of career, miseries and break –ups. It was my first year on PUP, that’s the last time we had a jamming, it was my birthday, I am so surprised that my Band has reunited. One of my band mates, “bangag” band mates had made a toast for our five years of friendship. I was so happy but I cannot show them how happy I was because they might think it I'm lame and so sissy.

Well, we are still a band, though some of us are studying like me, some are working, some have repeated fourth year high school, some have entered theater arts, and some had their families now. It is so amazing to see that I am a part of this band, my training ground, my place of crime, my sanctuary in time of need, my life, my friends..

Cheers for the five years of happiness, defeat and friendship forever….

ARMADA

The Greatest Gift I had

It's been the hardest semester in my entire college life. I've been Ignored, thrown out of my class, and the worst of it all, a failure in some of my subjects, But of all this miseries, I had never been so happy. I'm happy to have my new sister inside my beloved mother's womb, never been so excited in my life to see my mother in this state though she has been pregnant before, but I guess I'm too young to notice everything back then...

It was the week before Christmas..

My Mother's water had just broke. I had never been so excited, the excitement of being a Kuya Again,and being my mother confined to a hospital, I have spent my Christmas as a holiday with loud musics and happiness but not konwing what's really happening at the hospital.

As far as I can remember, It was 10 in the evening of the eve, and i was celebrating, then my Dad come home, to tell me this dreadful news, My mother is suffering and so is My baby sister. At that time, I am back to my old self again. I can't help but Cry. I did not aide help to the situation but rather make it harder and hopeless.

The time is ticking. It is now 12:00,It's Christmas time, but we still have no news. I really want to know what's going on. There's nothing I can do, At that very moment of my Life, i have called onto god once again, with his hope, His righteousness and his kindness. I had been a total fool not to surrender this situation to God.

2 o'clock in the morning, my sadness ceased. God has uplift my worries, I am now confident that God will do something miraculously and he did. And at exactly 4 in the morning. Great news, My mother had survived, and so her child,this was my Mama's text at 4:21 am:

"May Baby Girl na nasa Incubator"..


I am so happy and fulfilled at that time, all i can do now is hope and pray that things will be normal again, but there is a problem, my sister is a premature baby. It was the 25th of December, I have visited the hospital and see for the very first time, My mother in her ever-smiling face but as it turns out, we had a problem, My father and my tita is busy pumping out oxygen to our newly born baby.

The second day, on the 26th of December, at exactly 5:30 am, My Sister finally gave in to his Creator. As i can remember, I held her hand for the last time as I have felt her warmth in my hands, I am so down and lonely, as my last tears were falling for my sister, the words to this song came to me, I was bursting out in tears, I can't stop crying. The first song that i have heard was "Nag-aalab", it is a powerful gospel song.

a song showing you how you became small as you stand before God. This misery in my life taught me to be strong and to be firm and accept any burns from the flame that god has put into your heart.

"nag-aalab ang pag-ibig mo sa akin O diyos.."

"Hanggang matupok lahat kong pagmamalaki"..

as his creation, we can never ask for more than to thank him for his will.. even through the hardest of time, God has something in-store for us..He may take anything precious as Gold but we must gladly accept it even if it turns out that the one taken is replaced by nothing compared to it.

But when we accept it we'd be sure that it has a piece of our past miseries and by God's grace we will learn from it. I am now happy to know that God had showed me how it feels to have a baby sister and I will take this very moment in my hands forever and this is my promise:

never let go of my one and my only life, never let go of my beloved Creator,never let go of the GREATEST GIFT I HAD forever, it was her, and i will definitely miss her presence.

It was a memorable Christmas, in my entire life, forever...